Great news, Tamaha will be going back in the water on 31st July at 1.18pm! Yay! The picture above is of our new front garden, itsn’t it lovely.
We are on track and she’s looking good. Kevin’s job list has shortened to just five main things to complete over the next four weeks and as part of my new regime, I have promised to don my sparkly white overalls and lend a hand.
She will be going in minus her mast at this stage as there is still work to be done and the rigging will need to be professional checked and parts replaced when it goes up. We do have a lovely big engine and we can at least putter on the river till it’s done, oh add to the list service of the engine.
It’s so exciting, I feel we’ve been living in a tree house rather than a boat for the last eighteen months. Up and down a ladder goodness knows how many times a day, everything covered in dust from the yard. It’s going to be lovely to step off a pontoon and straight onto a dust free boat and to have beautiful river views.
I am not fit for purpose
So now I need to start working seriously on me. I’m not fit for purpose. I have a year to get healthier and fitter in body and mind to make sure that I have the endurance for distance sailing.
Though we eat mainly fresh foods and I cook from scratch (90% of the time), I am a carb addict and I blow up like a balloon when I eat them. Not only am I addicted, I am also allergic to sugar which impacts on my health. I don’t usually eat the obvious sweet stuff and rarely have anything that can be labelled “sweet” but I still manage to pack some fast carbs into my diet; white rice, crackers, potatoes and crisps to name a few.
I also am able to get my brain to ignore the sugar content in most supermarket bread, tinned vegetables (a store cupboard staple on a boat) and most supposedly healthy cereals – almost everything that comes pre-packaged from a supermarket is full of sugar. I also sneak in far too much out of season fruit!
Who am I hiding and sneaking this food from? From myself!
Carbs also slow down my mind and drain my energy so I don’t feel like doing much physically and my exercise is based on how many times I go up and down the ladder. My head finds all sorts of ways to “save time” like parking as close as possible to a shop and finding excuses to be dropped off at the toilet block so that I don’t have to walk the 200 yards to get there. I’m ashamed to admit it, but it’s true, carbs turn me into a sloth.
By reducing my exercise I also reduce my share of happiness endorphins so I feel a bit down at times, which makes me want to eat carbs etc, etc, and that’s the addiction merry-go-round set in motion.
I know these things. I used to specialise in carb addiction in my hypnotherapy practice. I studied naturopathic nutrition. I have researched food addiction and compulsive eating to death. I understand how exercise works on the body and brain. I know what I should and shouldn’t do to make my life healthier, fitter and happier.
So why don’t I do it?
I am an addict. Unless I am actively working a programme to overcome the disease of addiction, it takes over. Moving aboard Tamaha gave it the perfect excuse to tell me that because my lifestyle had changed I would only be eating healthy food and I could relax. It also told me that because I had been so careful for so long about my eating habits that my unconscious mind would take care of the rest (oh my lovely NLP training excuse). I have even heard my disease tell me – “just one bar of sweet milky chocolate won’t do any harm, no one needs to know.” Meanwhile I’m totally aware that one bar leads to a sugar binge and on to asthma attacks, coughing fits, shortness of breath, painful joints, disturbed sleep and emotional meltdown. This is the thinking of a typical addict.
I know what to do – work on my addiction and I have started. I will work on my mind and my stinking thinking. I will work a programme that deals with my sneaky addictive thoughts. Today I will work on taking care of me and remember to be gentle and kind to myself. I will remember that I am seeking progress and not perfection. Today I am conscious of what I’m eating and I am eliminating all white foods and fast carbs. Breakfast was yummy and lunch was scrumptious.
I do love eating good food. I do like knowing I’m taking the first step out of addiction. I can do it, not forever but just for today. Tomorrow, if I feel like it, I can have that chocolate bar but just for today I am going to be carb free.
“Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appal me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.”
Do you have food addiction/compulsive eating issues? How are you coping with it, have you got any tips?